Anyone Have A Goat?

Happy Lupercalia Day! C'mon shout it out loud... HAPPY LUPERCALIA DAY!!! WAHOOSKI!(that's polish for wahoo.. no, no ... Polish not polish). The really good Christians no what I'm talking about. Let's take a trip back in time shall we, back to a simpler time... say.. 753 B.C. or there abouts. So, there I am lounging around in my tunic eating a couple of grapes thinking to myself... Damn this marble lounger is hard(You, yes you over there. You lazy boy get off of your tuckis and o make me a more comfortable chair!) Boredom... what to do... what to do...Got it! You two noble boys over there, go fetch me a dog and a goat and meet me by Lupecal Cave, you know the place, the one where Romulus and Remus got caught doing that beastiality thing with Rumina the she-wolf. What do you mean what kind of dog? I don't care... get me a Roman Shepard or a St. Roman, no make it a small dog.... a Vatican Terrier will do. Mean while I'll set up the beer tent cause boys we are going to have ouselves a Festival.. No, wait, we are going to have ourselves a Pagan Festival and we are going to purify all of these hot women of their curses, bad luck, and infertility!
Okay, here's how we're going to get this party started. I'm going to sacrifice the dog(Hey, not a festival without fido roast).Now I'm going to sacrifice the goat(you didn't think one dog was going to feed all of those people did you). Now I'm going to smear the blood on your face and then wipe it off(done with the hazing) What a good laugh that whole blood on the face thing was. Okay, you two boys put these loinclothes on.. take this goat skin and soak it in the blood really good. Now, run around like crazy and see how many women you can flog!!! Then meet me back at the beer tent ... don't worry we'll tell the women getting flogged gives them the best results for fertility.. they'll fall for it.
A short time later.... back at the beer tent with Romulus, Remus and the Roman V kicking out the jams the revelry, drinking, rowdiness and horseplay began and it didn't end until 1200 years later. Hell, even the Pope got on board, of course he got the marketing rights so he got to change the name of the festival. In 494 A.D. Lupercalis became known as "Feast of the Purification of the Virgin Mary". After all, a Pope can't associate with a Pagan Festival...or can they....

ask, believe, receive.

Birth Control...OH, MY!

Let’s see…. Today I’m either going to make you really think about something or I’m going to get you really ticked off. Here it goes…. Drum roll please…. Are you ready?

Let’s talk about Birth Control, Catholics, and Politicians. (I’m off to a good start.) I saw where the Obama Administration is making it mandatory for “Faith Based “ employers to provide birth control as part of their health insurance plans and Catholics are pissed because it goes against their beliefs or shall I say it goes against what the less than 10% of those who choose to practice that belief believe. Along with that the Politicians are saying it’s a violation of Religious freedom and under no circumstances should there be a mix of church and state (Unless of course I’m running for office and need the money from your congregation).  Well, that’s that in a nut shell. It’s really just political fodder in an election year.

On to the good part where I screw with your mind and Catholics… by the way I’m a non-practicing Catholic so I get to do this and after all it is my blog…. Freedom of speech and all that.

So, the Catholic Church doesn’t believe in Birth Control (we’ll see about that), they believe in Abstinence (boring) and the rhythm method (now we’re talking). But most of all they believe in being hypocritical, yes I said hypocritical. Let’s take a look shall we….

Most Catholics have already said they practice other forms of Birth Control other than those stated above or should I say, Catholic women, and they do so under secrecy so the Catholic Church won’t send them to hell. I heard the number is around 98% but I don’t know that for fact so don’t quote me.  So even though most of the clergy doesn’t follow the rule the Catholic church won’t change it,  but oddly enough  they don’t have an issue with Viagra and Cialis…hhhmmm  Why, because it promotes conception which in turn increases the potential clergy and that’s all good. Here’s a twist. If the Catholic Church doesn’t approve of Birth Control than it must not approve of Hysterectomies and Menopause for that matter because both would prevent women from bearing children hence, both are forms of Birth Control. I’m kind of wondering… How many Catholic Men have had a vasectomy?? Last time I checked this would be another form of Birth Control so the Catholic Church must have a rule on Vasectomies… right? I’d be willing to bet you that hysterectomies and vasectomies are surgeries covered under the current health plans provided by the same Catholic institutions that are fighting the Birth Control issue.

How come you never hear a politician talk about banning vasectomies?? If you think about it it’s a form of abortion… nothing gets fertilized without the sperm. Any snipped right to lifers out there… shame on you, you got to choose how come the women can’t??? How come you never hear the Catholic Church’s point of view on vasectomies? My thought, it’s because you have a bunch of old men who have old fashioned thoughts and are still under the belief a woman’s place is in the home making babies, or,  it’s because you have an old religion that can’t figure out how to recreate itself for the 21^st century in a dignified way. I’m sure even Jesus would have changed with the times after all; he seemed like a pretty righteous dude.

One last thing, we are afforded a lot of freedoms and you have to decide what is right and wrong for you but remember, just because it is your belief doesn’t mean it’s everyone else’s and that’s okay, because differences of opinion and great debates are what make this country great.  

Ask, Believe, Receive.

Green with Envy??

It's nice to see a person of such stature and prominence finally throw their hat into the Presidential ring...aaahhhh.... Such the perfect candidate after all. The ability to sing an undaunting rendition of our country's National Anthem and to have such a connection with America's lower class even though they are perceivably more wealthy. Yes America I give you Roseanne Barr the first female President of the United States of America! Kind of has a nice ring to it doesn't it.
In case you haven't heard she wants to be the Green Party candidate and according to her platform we need to start taking care of business here at home. Well I guess I can agree with her on that aspect. I mean after all, the $800 billion the Nation has spent fighting two wars overseas could have built a pretty nice base alternative fuel infrastructure and last time I checked we had some intelligent individuals living within our borders that probably... and I'm reaching here... could have designed some things that would utilize that alternative fuel. What? The design phase has been done...hhmm... so there is a possibility that we don't have to rely on OIL??? What's the world coming to.
Imagine $800 billion being invested into our economy to create a Greener(see the connection) more diverse society... Healthier, cleaner air, the creation of jobs(somebody has to build that infrastructure), new types of businesses popping up everywhere. What a unique concept... this concept of paying yourself first and then being charitable.
Now for those of you sitting there thinking.... "They should just take that $800 billion and divide it up and give me my share!!" Here's your $2.59.. now shut up!
Have you heard what the political pundits are arguing about these days? Chrysler's Clint Eastwood super bowl ad... Didn't you know it screams of political undertones and it's pro Obama... GASP!! Supposedly it is Chrysler's way of saying thank you for the bail out Mr. Obama and we will do this ad for you but we will be so subtle about our support for you that really nobody will see it except for Karl Rowe. By the way The bail out program was started by Bush and finished by Obama so everyone relax it was a bi-partisan thing.
I understand using Clint Eastwood, everyone knows his face and voice, but he lacked one thing for me... He isn't from DETROIT!! The message, although a great one, would have had a greater affect if Chrysler would have used a lineup of famous Detroiters like Aretha Franklin etc...
Anyway at the end of the day regardless of your political affiliation do some research and don't fall prey to the Social Issue rhetoric being spewed by both parties. Force yourself to get to ground level and see the whole picture. Go Green! I mean Roseanne Barr... really.. is this what this country is coming to??? Heard her running mate is going to be Andy Dick... can just see the BARR DICK bumper stickers now.... just kidding..

Ask, Believe, Receive.

It's not always about Lasagna!

You really have to wonder... Are there warning labels on the dashboards of these big oil tankers and cruise ships that read " This vehicle is intended for water use only, Do Not attempt to operate on any type of land mass." Just so you know, running into rocks is not the same as running the ship aground. Really, the Captain of the ship that ran aground in Italy said " I made a mistake when I hit the rocks but I ran it aground to keep from sinking.... No I was not going to fast." Quick thinking on his part, No really..... he actually saved a lot of lives. Just imagine how many more he could've saved if he wouldn't have hit the country of Italy in the first place.... 17!
Carnival did try to make things right though.... they offered every passenger a "settlement" of 11,000 euros, that's $14,534 U.S., in case you were trying to do the math. Oh, wait .... this just in...A N.Y. law firm is filing a class action suit against Carnival and Costa Concordia on behalf of "hundreds of passengers." That's right, the NY law firm of Napoli, Bern, Ripka, Shkolaik has stated they represent "hundreds" of passengers and for their "6" (six) that's SIX named plaintiffs they are seeking $10 million in Economic and Compensatory damages and a mere $450 million in Punitive damages and when it is all said and done each plaintiff will receive approximately 11,000 Euros or, yep, about $14,534.00 U.S. ten years form now after all of the appeals. Oh, and I almost forgot, the lawsuit also includes (2) John Does??? I'm thinking they must have long Italian names that the law firm can't spell so they filed against Carnival, Concordia, and (2) John Does not 3 or 4 just 2 (is that anything like 2 players to be named later?)
One passenger stated he and his wife "the nurse" would just like to be reimbursed the $6000.00 for their lost possessions and a little something extra cause they had to swim to shore and they helped calm people down.. one person even had blood on their face. I feel for them, I really do but last time you went on a trip did you pack $6000 worth of stuff??? What the hell did they take with them? Sounds like someone needs a new living room set.... Hey genius, take the 11,000 Euros it's more than $6000 U.S. You can get the living room set and have a little extra for a "Nice" cruise.
Don't even get me started on the Peruvian Crew member who filed a lawsuit Not in Peru, Not in Italy, but in Illinois!!! That's right, Illinois!! How in the...
As far as the Captain is concerned.. he faces charges of Manslaughter and Abandoning ship.
Remember, the Captain must go down with the ship you can't just simply leave the keys in the ignition, run screaming to a life boat and be the first one off the dingy. So much for women and children first, I guess nobody has ever really defined the "first" in that statement.... first to be saved, first to be left behind.

To those who lost their lives..... R.I.P.
To those who lived..... be thankful.
To the lawyers.... be ashamed.
To the Captain.... be honest.

ask, believe, receive.

Biggest Sale Ever! No.. Really, Ever!

It's absolute pure genius! And I ask you why they hired a new CEO when they could've hired me for probably less than half the amount! Seriously, after spending what has to be millions of dollars each year on an obsessive amount of ad campaigns it took someone from outside of the J.C.Penny organization to come up with the novel idea of just marking the price at 40% less than original and keeping it there! No more sales of the century, no more of our biggest sale of the year, even though we had our biggest sale of the year last week, this one is bigger! But if you wait a day... well that's Presidents day and we will have an even bigger sale. Anybody who has ever walked into a Jacque Panae with me over the course of the last ten plus years had heard me say.... "Why don't they just price everything at the lower price and save a ton of money by not having to spend so damn much on marketing all these damn sales." But hey we love sales,Don't We!!! I just saved $350 on this T.V. ... How much did you pay for it.... $1200 hhmmm.. Sounds to me like you spent $1200... yeah, but it was marked down from $1550!!! Would you have paid $1550? NO... Then you didn't save anything! YOU DON'T SAVE MONEY BY SPENDING IT!! Did the clerk hand you $350? NO. Did you come out ahead $350? NO. You spent $1200!!
Sales are a con job on the American Mentality. Companies like J.C. Penny's mark an inflated price on their goods then tell the consumer they will mark 20% off and we fall for it hook, line, and sinker!!!
My questions; How do you think our Economy would look if companies were only allowed to realize a 20% profit max? What would the price of consumer goods look like? We all know there is a 200 to 500% mark up on furniture and jewelry, apply the above.... how does the price look... or would they just add more middle men to drive the price up? A little something to think about.

Ask, Believe, Receive.

Coffee Talk

I have a question... when you grill a steak, be it rare, medium, or well done does anything about that piece of meat change aside from the flavor? How about Beer? What changes from a light beer to a dark beer? Color and taste. Does the alcohol content increase? Ahh depends on the ingredients and the amounts of certain ingredients. I know sugar content will increase the alcohol level. What's my point you ask? Sitting on the counter at work are two cans of coffee. In one can Folgers in the other.. fresh roasted/ground Columbian Supremo. Here's my question.... which one would you make? My co-workers will 99.9% of the time make Folgers. The comment I hear 99.9% of the time is.... I like my coffee, But I don't like my coffee to knock the hair off of my chest. My response... well... if you are making Folgers than you don't like good coffee or you just don't know what good coffee is.
Lesson one: When a green coffee bean is roasted and kept in bean form it becomes stale after 2 weeks. Lesson two: Once you grind the beans they become stale after 2 days, so when you buy Folger, Maxwell House or any other ground or whole bean coffee in a grocery store chances are it's stale.
Now all the roast signifies is Flavor... the darker the roast does not mean more caffiene. It means more flavor in my book.
All I ask of you is one thing... Don't tell me you're a coffee drinker and know what good coffee is when you're buying and drinking one of the many major store brands cause your coffee is stale and frankly you don't know what a good cup of coffee taste like. In case you wonder, I have a roaster and roast my own coffee and you can't get any fresher than that. Have a great day.

Rally Cry: In this time of Economic Need a GED is all you need!

Yes Virginia, sadly it is true.... there is no need for an education beyond a GED. Oh, and there is a Santa Claus.. Yeah, I saw him and your mother under the mistletoe kissing, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Now, back to reality... sadly I have come to discover that all you really need is a GED (okay, high school diploma). I know diploma is a big word but work with me here. Fact... saw an ad for a "Store Manager" for Alpena's Home Depot... Education required.. yep.. High School diploma or equivalent (GED) I was not qualified. Here's another one.. Production Manager, needed to have knowledge of Continuous Improvement... education required...you guessed it.. high school diploma or equivalent(GED).  Commercial Lending officer.. education required ..once again high school diploma or equivalent(they did note a bachelor's degree was preferred). Hmmmm, I guess taking the initiative to better ones self is really only for your self. To all those employers out there... You Get What You Pay For! Oddly enough two positions listed above have come up on job sites three time each within the year. Don't get me wrong.. I understand the world of business and all about bottom lines and what not...but last time I checked there were considerable cost involved when it comes to training people and if you are training people for the same position three times in a year you are wasting valuable time and resources or maybe, just maybe you need to up your requirements. Here's an idea.. talk to the educated people, don't automatically write them off because you think you can't afford to pay them. Last time I checked these people were looking for a job for the same reason someone with the GED is. Now, I'm not saying anyone with a GED is less of an individual or of a lower stature than someone with a college education(I know some of you were thinking that!) All I'm asking is... wouldn't you prefer to have someone with a college degree in a field related to your business with the experience in your business?? Oh, and by the way... experience in different fields is transferable so don't box your self in.. think outside of the box for a change. For those of you who are wondering... Yes I have a job, I drive an hour one way to get there because I do what I have to do to make ends meet. Yes I said job, but what I really want is a career.

Ask, believe, Receive