Anyone Have A Goat?

Happy Lupercalia Day! C'mon shout it out loud... HAPPY LUPERCALIA DAY!!! WAHOOSKI!(that's polish for wahoo.. no, no ... Polish not polish). The really good Christians no what I'm talking about. Let's take a trip back in time shall we, back to a simpler time... say.. 753 B.C. or there abouts. So, there I am lounging around in my tunic eating a couple of grapes thinking to myself... Damn this marble lounger is hard(You, yes you over there. You lazy boy get off of your tuckis and o make me a more comfortable chair!) Boredom... what to do... what to do...Got it! You two noble boys over there, go fetch me a dog and a goat and meet me by Lupecal Cave, you know the place, the one where Romulus and Remus got caught doing that beastiality thing with Rumina the she-wolf. What do you mean what kind of dog? I don't care... get me a Roman Shepard or a St. Roman, no make it a small dog.... a Vatican Terrier will do. Mean while I'll set up the beer tent cause boys we are going to have ouselves a Festival.. No, wait, we are going to have ourselves a Pagan Festival and we are going to purify all of these hot women of their curses, bad luck, and infertility!
Okay, here's how we're going to get this party started. I'm going to sacrifice the dog(Hey, not a festival without fido roast).Now I'm going to sacrifice the goat(you didn't think one dog was going to feed all of those people did you). Now I'm going to smear the blood on your face and then wipe it off(done with the hazing) What a good laugh that whole blood on the face thing was. Okay, you two boys put these loinclothes on.. take this goat skin and soak it in the blood really good. Now, run around like crazy and see how many women you can flog!!! Then meet me back at the beer tent ... don't worry we'll tell the women getting flogged gives them the best results for fertility.. they'll fall for it.
A short time later.... back at the beer tent with Romulus, Remus and the Roman V kicking out the jams the revelry, drinking, rowdiness and horseplay began and it didn't end until 1200 years later. Hell, even the Pope got on board, of course he got the marketing rights so he got to change the name of the festival. In 494 A.D. Lupercalis became known as "Feast of the Purification of the Virgin Mary". After all, a Pope can't associate with a Pagan Festival...or can they....

ask, believe, receive.

Birth Control...OH, MY!

Let’s see…. Today I’m either going to make you really think about something or I’m going to get you really ticked off. Here it goes…. Drum roll please…. Are you ready?

Let’s talk about Birth Control, Catholics, and Politicians. (I’m off to a good start.) I saw where the Obama Administration is making it mandatory for “Faith Based “ employers to provide birth control as part of their health insurance plans and Catholics are pissed because it goes against their beliefs or shall I say it goes against what the less than 10% of those who choose to practice that belief believe. Along with that the Politicians are saying it’s a violation of Religious freedom and under no circumstances should there be a mix of church and state (Unless of course I’m running for office and need the money from your congregation).  Well, that’s that in a nut shell. It’s really just political fodder in an election year.

On to the good part where I screw with your mind and Catholics… by the way I’m a non-practicing Catholic so I get to do this and after all it is my blog…. Freedom of speech and all that.

So, the Catholic Church doesn’t believe in Birth Control (we’ll see about that), they believe in Abstinence (boring) and the rhythm method (now we’re talking). But most of all they believe in being hypocritical, yes I said hypocritical. Let’s take a look shall we….

Most Catholics have already said they practice other forms of Birth Control other than those stated above or should I say, Catholic women, and they do so under secrecy so the Catholic Church won’t send them to hell. I heard the number is around 98% but I don’t know that for fact so don’t quote me.  So even though most of the clergy doesn’t follow the rule the Catholic church won’t change it,  but oddly enough  they don’t have an issue with Viagra and Cialis…hhhmmm  Why, because it promotes conception which in turn increases the potential clergy and that’s all good. Here’s a twist. If the Catholic Church doesn’t approve of Birth Control than it must not approve of Hysterectomies and Menopause for that matter because both would prevent women from bearing children hence, both are forms of Birth Control. I’m kind of wondering… How many Catholic Men have had a vasectomy?? Last time I checked this would be another form of Birth Control so the Catholic Church must have a rule on Vasectomies… right? I’d be willing to bet you that hysterectomies and vasectomies are surgeries covered under the current health plans provided by the same Catholic institutions that are fighting the Birth Control issue.

How come you never hear a politician talk about banning vasectomies?? If you think about it it’s a form of abortion… nothing gets fertilized without the sperm. Any snipped right to lifers out there… shame on you, you got to choose how come the women can’t??? How come you never hear the Catholic Church’s point of view on vasectomies? My thought, it’s because you have a bunch of old men who have old fashioned thoughts and are still under the belief a woman’s place is in the home making babies, or,  it’s because you have an old religion that can’t figure out how to recreate itself for the 21^st century in a dignified way. I’m sure even Jesus would have changed with the times after all; he seemed like a pretty righteous dude.

One last thing, we are afforded a lot of freedoms and you have to decide what is right and wrong for you but remember, just because it is your belief doesn’t mean it’s everyone else’s and that’s okay, because differences of opinion and great debates are what make this country great.  

Ask, Believe, Receive.

Green with Envy??

It's nice to see a person of such stature and prominence finally throw their hat into the Presidential ring...aaahhhh.... Such the perfect candidate after all. The ability to sing an undaunting rendition of our country's National Anthem and to have such a connection with America's lower class even though they are perceivably more wealthy. Yes America I give you Roseanne Barr the first female President of the United States of America! Kind of has a nice ring to it doesn't it.
In case you haven't heard she wants to be the Green Party candidate and according to her platform we need to start taking care of business here at home. Well I guess I can agree with her on that aspect. I mean after all, the $800 billion the Nation has spent fighting two wars overseas could have built a pretty nice base alternative fuel infrastructure and last time I checked we had some intelligent individuals living within our borders that probably... and I'm reaching here... could have designed some things that would utilize that alternative fuel. What? The design phase has been done...hhmm... so there is a possibility that we don't have to rely on OIL??? What's the world coming to.
Imagine $800 billion being invested into our economy to create a Greener(see the connection) more diverse society... Healthier, cleaner air, the creation of jobs(somebody has to build that infrastructure), new types of businesses popping up everywhere. What a unique concept... this concept of paying yourself first and then being charitable.
Now for those of you sitting there thinking.... "They should just take that $800 billion and divide it up and give me my share!!" Here's your $2.59.. now shut up!
Have you heard what the political pundits are arguing about these days? Chrysler's Clint Eastwood super bowl ad... Didn't you know it screams of political undertones and it's pro Obama... GASP!! Supposedly it is Chrysler's way of saying thank you for the bail out Mr. Obama and we will do this ad for you but we will be so subtle about our support for you that really nobody will see it except for Karl Rowe. By the way The bail out program was started by Bush and finished by Obama so everyone relax it was a bi-partisan thing.
I understand using Clint Eastwood, everyone knows his face and voice, but he lacked one thing for me... He isn't from DETROIT!! The message, although a great one, would have had a greater affect if Chrysler would have used a lineup of famous Detroiters like Aretha Franklin etc...
Anyway at the end of the day regardless of your political affiliation do some research and don't fall prey to the Social Issue rhetoric being spewed by both parties. Force yourself to get to ground level and see the whole picture. Go Green! I mean Roseanne Barr... really.. is this what this country is coming to??? Heard her running mate is going to be Andy Dick... can just see the BARR DICK bumper stickers now.... just kidding..

Ask, Believe, Receive.