YeeHaw!

Okay, let me get this straight… Merle Haggard life was turned around/influenced by Johnny Cash??? Was Merle portrayed in “Walk the Line”? So, Mr. Haggard is sitting his ass in San Quentin because of a burglary rap and in struts Mr. Cash who supposedly flips off the guards and does all these things that the inmates wished they could do and suddenly Merle’s life is changed forever. C’mon! I’m not sure I can believe that, then again I’ve never been in San Quentin or prison, county jail or any other kind of lock up you could think of, at least not yet anyway. Seems to simple, Merle’s mom sends him to jail as an eleven year old because she can’t handle him, he ends up in jail three more times before the age of eighteen (escaped once, must have watched the “Great Escape” at some point or was it “Bird Man from Alcatraz) then at the age of eighteen Merle is sentence to 15 years in San Quentin for his burglary rap (no, he didn’t do a rap song about burglary, he stole something). This, my friends, is where Johnny Cash influenced Merle’s outlaw career, I mean outlaw country music career. Oh, my bad, Merle is an Okie from Muskogee, or at the very least an Okie and supposedly if you’re an Okie you have an undying love for stealing things and country music. Not just any country music...nooo… loud and obnoxious country music that plays all night long (wait, I think he may be my next door neighbor, but he isn’t an Okie???)  I’ve always be under the impression that country songs consisted of … someone getting out of jail, a dog getting run over, and a divorce. Let see how Merle did... he spent time in jail (check), not sure if he had a dog but if he did it would be dead by now (check), Divorced (uhhmm three times, definitely a check) Well, have to give him credit he has a lot of experience and all of the credentials to be a country star. Here’s another thing, if you are currently sitting in jail, become a country star, hit number one on the charts (if you have to re-record Merle’s first number one hit “I’m a Lonesome Fugitive”, don’t escape first though) and then have the Guvna of California pardon you for all of your past crimes. Arnold will do it. Ronald Reagan did it for Merle in 1972 why wouldn’t Arnold do for you… Just tell him Ron did it cause he wouldn’t want Ron to one up him. I must admit though, Merle did alright for himself 38 number one hits  and a whole bunch of country music awards ain’t all bad for a “Lonesome Fugitive”.

Hail, Hayle, The English Are Here!!

The blog has taken somewhat of a turn.. maybe because of a tad bit of History in my background. But once again I will try to put my twist on it.

On this fateful day in 1360(back then it was a Monday, so it came to be known as "Black Monday", friggin' Monday's). The next time you think you are having a bad Monday I want you to consider this...
The Hundred Years' War(quick, how long was the hundred years' war, see answer at bottom) started in 1337 and King Edward III being an impatient man decided in 1359 that he was going to put an end to this doldrums of a war(even though it was taking place in France) so he decided to actively conquer the French because he was really just messing with them during the previous 23 years(1359-1337=23,for those of you who didn't do the math, it helps with the answer at the bottom). King Edward took a Huge, Extra Large Force across the channel to Calais. What did the French do you ask?? They hid behind walls and wouldn't come out into the open and fight like men(back then it didn't occur to anyone to hide behind something and keep from getting shot, if you did hide than you were considered yellow, wait that was the old west, you get the point). So, King Edward III being of sound mind and kind heart promptly pillaged the French country side(must of had a little Captain in him). Have you ever wondered why there aren't any suburbs in Paris... in April of 1360 King Edward and his troops burned them down, didn't need them, don't like them, have no use for them, burn them down! King Edward failed to take in account the wrath of God, yes you read it correctly, the wrath of God! Boooom, a sudden storm opens up over Paris and what use to be the burbs.. know remember the English didn't know enough to go inside.. so along comes the thunder, along comes the lightening, and along comes the HAIL or Hayle if your English. Well, the lightening killed a couple of chaps and the hailstones/haylestones began pelting the troops.. two English leaders were killed and you know what happens when leaders die..yup... panic! Every man for themselves!!! King Edward III being a religious man realized that the 1000 deaths, yes I said 1000 deaths was a sign of the almighty so he signed the treaty of Bretigny thus ending the first phase of the hundred years' war(because a war that long has to be fought in phases). The King of France being a nice guy gave Eddie of England some nice wine country in the north of France. That is, for nine years anyway and then the King of France decided Eddie of England was a bad boy and declared war thus phase two of the war. The second phase of the war lasted until 1453.
By the way, the largest hailstone(according to history.com) was recorded in Aurora, Nebraska...seven inches in diameter... about size of a soccer ball!

How long did the Hundred years' war last.... (1453 - 9year hiatus= 1444-1344=100 + 7 years(1337-1344) = 107 years.
Correct me if I'm wrong.

Have a Great Day! Ask, Believe, Receive.

What Do You Believe?

Let's take a step back in time, shall we... Picture yourself on this day in 1633. My good buddy, Galileo Galilei, and I were sitting in a quaint cafe when a courier comes strolling up and hands him a note. I asked him what was up and he tells me that the Pope, Pope Urban VIII has ordered him to turn himself in. C'mon, not the whole earth, sun center of the world thing again.. Yep that's what it's about. Didn't you go through all of that in 1616 and tell them that you didn't really believe it you just liked to talk about it. See what you get for stirring the pot. Didn't I tell you to stop writing about how the Sun was the center of the world. Didn't I tell you that sooner or later the Pope would have nothing better to do and then come after you again, hhhmmm didn't I tell you.
So it began, the interrogation by Chief inquisitor Father Vincenzo Maculano da Firenzuola(Father Vinny). Galileo turned himself in and the Catholic church being of fair mind promptly imprisoned him and secluded him during his trial because that was the standard practice and heaven forbid one gets to really defend themselves. Of Course, like stated above, Galileo denied he held his theory in "belief" and stated it was merely for discussion purposes only. The Church of course believed that the Sun revolved around the Earth and the Earth was, as defined by scripture, the center of the world(universe) and if you didn't believe it then it was consider heretical and you were thrown in jail, I'm sorry you were put under house arrest(remember back then they didn't have T.V.s, computers, or Ipods. Oops my mistake Galileo was condemned to prison during Our will and pleasure of the Holy Office.(he was sentenced to prison for however long they felt or until it wasn't pleasurable to the Pope which ever came first). But like all good parents the Pope had to hit Galileo where it really hurt.. Galileo was prohibited from releasing his book the book of Dialogues(kind of like taking away the XBox back in the day). Galileo being the great man that he was agreed not to teach the heresy any more (even thought scientist had proved he was right centuries before) and live out his life under house arrest. Let's give it up for the Catholic church... because they made right what was wronged... it only took them 300 years but they finally admitted Galileo was right and cleared his name of heresy. Just doesn't seem like justice does it. So, What do you believe?

Have a Great Day, Ask, Believe, Receive.

Watch Out For That Hole! Survival Guide.

In case you haven't heard the news or you have been living under a rock. A five foot hole ripped out of the ceiling of a Airliner last week. Yes, a commercial airplane, big hole, 30,000 feet in the air!!! Somebody actually asked the question to the Discovery Channel website of what would happen if you got sucked out of the hole at 30,000 feet...and the answer, according to experts, is... prognosis wouldn't be good. WTF! Prognosis wouldn't be good???? Oh really? Are you sure? I mean after all it's only 30,000 feet.. c'mon. So you bounce once or twice and then land the perfect two point landing.. and the scores are in.. 10,10,10,9,10.. dang Russian judge. This just in... within in seconds you would be dead due to oxygen deprivation... low oxygen levels at that height would cause a slight issue with be able to breath...so grab your oxygen mask on the way out(problem on solved). Ahhh, bbbrrrr, the temperature at that height -70 degrees F. so instant freeze ray.. that's what the blanket is for.. take that with you also (problem number 2 solved). According to the Discovery Channel website there would be an extreme case of Stress and the sudden drop of air pressure would create the bends and the trauma would make your nervous system go nuts... the pillow comes into play here along with the vodka tonics... relaxes the system and creates a zen sensation(problem solved). Last but not least you would probably hit the plane on the way out or get hit by the plane getting cut in half... tuck and roll grab the cushion on the way out to deflect the impact... it's not just a floatation device.
By the way... the suggested method of survival is to keep your seat belt fastened and put your oxygen mask on... my way to survive... Drive to your destination unless flying is absolutely necessary.

Have a Great Day! Ask, Believe, Receive.

I've got nothing, let's shut it down.

I've come to a conclusion today. If I decided to ever run for office and I don't have a plan or a leg to stand on I will just attack the other candidate. What I will do is pick something so minute and something that has already been checked into numerous times and then re-hash it. That way it will distract people and they won't realize that I really don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to politics... Hi my name is Donald Trump and I'm going to run for President and you will like me because I'm the Donald and I have this great looking head of hair and a reality show... See Sarah Palin and I are kind of two peas in a pod.. neither one of us really now what we are talking about when it comes to politics but we look good and we can do a hell of a reality show... Your fired Joe six pack! Hey I can see New Jersey from my kitchen window.
Heaven forbid we believe the state of Hawaii... look give up the birth certificate issue Don. Obama's camp released a copy of his birth certificate 3 years ago... two Hawaiian newspapers published birth notices in 1961.. So, now you are going to tell me that a cover up started on the day he was born? Go ahead and complain about the President that is your prerogative... but find something new will you. Oh, and at least run with some sort of platform.

Let's shut it down! Wahoo.. It's all about riders... you know all those little spending thingys politicians add to bills so they can appease their constituents. Guess where the hang up is with the budget in regards to the shut down... Subsidized Pap Smears. That's correct, women's health issues regarding Title X. Why is this the big issue... because you have a bunch of "Good Ole Boys" sitting across the table from each other and women's health issues don't mean a whole lot of diddly squat to the "Good Ole Boys". You know who the Good Ole Boys are.. Senior Republicans and their rider list keeps getting longer and longer because they have been fighting the abortion battle for so long and now they are going to prove they still "got it" when it comes to pushing social issues through. It was actually confirmed by a GOP aide. The old members of the GOP realize or think that when all is said and done citizens will ultimately blame the Tea Party for a shut down, so the old members have seen an opportunity to throw the monkey wrench in the contraption and muck things up. See, riders are not the issue, spending is, and Tea Party members are concerned with spending and balancing the budget but old members sitting on the same side the aisle are looking for a way to hang Tea Party members out to dry. We have a Government close to shutting down because of a Good Ole Boys club can't handle the fact that things are changing and they have lost control and all of their rich friends will be mad and then the trickle down will be disrupted. Did you know that both parties are pretty much equal when it comes to spending cuts.. According to House Majority Leader Eric Cantor(R-VA) it's equal to the equivalent of a penny. The issue isn't the spending, the issue is Senior Republicans going after riders like defunding planned parenthood which has nothing, I repeat, nothing to do with the deficit. Did you get that.. Riders have nothing to do with the deficit. House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) doesn't want to admit that it's about the riders, he is under pressure from the Good Ole Boys on social issues and even though at one point they had an agreement on the budget he threw in more and more riders to muddy the water. So if a Government shut down is a concern to you thank the Senior Members of the GOP for it because the numbers have been agreed on but they have to show Capitol Hill they are supposedly still in charge.

Have a Great Day, Ask, Believe, and Receive!

Great day in History!

In 1776 the U.S. Navy captured its first British ship off the coast of Virginia. See what happened back then is the British ticked off the Irish and then the Irish came to the U.S. and signed up to fight the British. No sense in having their homeland invaded(wait, the British did that anyway). John Barry(he be the Irishman) offered his services to the U.S. in 1745. Congress purchased his ship the BLACK PRINCE from him and then promptly renamed it.... wait for it.... wait for it ..pause for effect... ALFRED! Yes, Alfred because we are a creative lot.
In 1862 the great civil war battle of Shiloh concluded. Two days of fighting, remember back then they didn't fight at night. No night vision goggles, no fighting thems was the rules. See the Confederates had the Yankees driven back but night fell and everyone went to supper, some went to the Hornet's Nest, others went to the Bloody Pond, some went to the Peach Orchard but they all had a nice dinner. The Yankee casualties were: 1754 killed, 8408 wounded, and 2885 captured or wounded. The Conferate casualties were: 1723 killed, 8012 wounded, and 959 missing(they wouldn't admit to being captured) which goes to show you that even it you had more killed, wounded, and missing you won the battle(what? do you think this is golf, the lower score does not win in the case of Civil War).
In 1939 Italy invaded Albania because Mussolini wanted to impress Hitler by showing he could over run a country also. Uhhmmm.... Benito you don't invade a country that is already dependent on you for everything it has... you could just keep the stuff you're giving them.. you know, take your ball and go home type of thing. OH, it was a precursor for bigger and better conquest, I see, what was I thinking... So how did the invasion of Greece work out for you Benito? Not so well huh, disastourous you say. Anyone else, Did you conquer anyone else? Noooo.... so basically what you're telling me is you picked the wrong side. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Oddly enough the above is all true so I hoped you learned something today.

Have a Great Day, Ask, Believe, Receive.

Dare to Dream - then fall short???

On this day in 1909 four Eskimos stood on what they thought was the North Pole. They celebrated with a big guy in dressed in red with a big white beard by eating seal meat and drinking whale ale(please note that no animals where harmed in the writing of this blog). Why did they go to the North Pole... because a guy by the name of Robert Peary had what he considered an "elusive" dream. So he and a assistant by the name of Matthew Henson paid four Eskimos to lead the way.
Of course, as with any dream you have to practice to make perfect. How does one practice to jockey dog sleds across vast icelands to reach an imaginary pole sticking out of the top of the world... well you go to Greenland(why didn't I think of that!!) in 1886 Bob took a little trip down the mighty... no wait.. he took a little bacon and he took a little beads and he farted his way to New Orl... nope that's not it. He jumped a sled dog and rode him all the way to the interior of Greenland or maybe the sled jumped him but he made it to some where inside of Greenland. Being the intelligent Navy Civil Engineer that Bob was he decided he needed assistant and that's where our African-American friend Matt shows up(because all guys stranded on a island need a African-American friend.. I'm sure you'll get it by Friday!). Of course, Bob told Matt they were going to find the equator because nobody in their right mind would sign up to spend months in the ice and snow(wait I live in Northern Michigan, must not be in my right mind). So, Bob and Matt practice some more by taking an "extended" dog sled ride to even further into the interior of Greenland(wouldn't it occur to them that eventually you come out on the other side??) and low and behold they make it to latitude 88 degrees north(fancy civil engineer talk for almost..) oooohhh only 150 miles from hitting that latitude 90 degrees... see practice, it's all about practice.
Well, along comes 1908, Bob and Matt and the four Eskimos who for some reason don't have names start of in Ellesmere Island and then proceed to "race"(yes, according to history.com they "raced") across hundreds of miles of ice until Bob on this fateful day in 1909 stopped, did some calculations, and said this is it. Santa said "What took you so long, Dr. Frederick A. Cook was here last year." Yep, after Bob and Matt returned, Bob's former associate Doc Fred claimed he had done it the year before and a major controversy ensued. I mean "MAJOR" and Congress, because they had nothing better to do discussed the issue for two years and then decided that the Doc lied and Bob, Matt and the Escanaba Eskimos really did do it.(Helps to have Eskimos backing your story).
Here's the twist... studies have shown that neither party actually made it to the North Pole.... Bob was close, he missed it by 30 miles (because the Eskimos knew they wouldn't get any recognition so they duped Bob). Ladies and Gentlemen the first person to ever reach the North Pole was U.S. Lieutenant Colonel (cause he couldn't decide between the two) Joseph O. Fletcher of Oklahoma when he stepped out of a plane and walked to the exact location of the North Pole in 1952. Know that's funny!

Have a Great Day. Ask, Believe, Receive

How did they get their License??

Back on this day in 1933 a fatal crash occurred but because of the Hindenburg you don't ever hear about it. The Dirigible(never thought I would use that word in a sentence) Akron crashed in New Jersey killing 73. Okay, technically it crashed into the Atlantic Ocean but the Navy was using it to gather data over New Jersey because as we all know there is a lot of Data over New Jersey and it's important to gather it, especially back in 1933 with all of the data that was flying around(some of which floated down from New York). Was Newark as nasty back then as it is today? Here is the strange thing about this Dirigible(holy crap twice in one day, by the way, it's a fancy term for Blimp). So, here's the strange thing about the blimp Akron. It was built, and at the time the largest blimp, in 1931. It proceeded to be involved in a fatal accident in 1932(yes a year after it was built). What happened you ask? It was traveling from New Jersey(hhhmmm) to Camp Kearny military base near San Diego (hhmmm, military base...) when along comes this blow hard named Mother Nature and she kicks up some "High Winds" well, think about a big balloon blowing around in the wind... So, of course, here is what you do: You get thirty of your closest friends to grab ropes that dangle from the blimp and have them pull the big balloon down to the ground and then you tie it off job done, right, right. Well, I don't know about you but when I get to friend number 28, 29, and 30 they aren't exactly the smartest... okay smart maybe but common sense not so much. Anyway, everyone grabs the ropes and the wind kicks up and everyone lets go of the ropes because the big balloon heads toward the heavens... you guessed it, except for the three geniuses... Two of them let go when they hit the 200 feet off the ground mark and low and behold they died(it wasn't the fall that killed them, it was the sudden stop) and the third genius, get this, held on for two hours while they tried to shake him at 2000 feet above the ground. They finally decided he wasn't going to let go so they landed and let him live. Back to 1933.
You would think they would have learned a lesson, they see a big thunderstorm coming in off the beautiful coast of New Jersey and the order comes in.. Send up the Akron! And because of "miscommunication" instead of going around the storm, cause it was well known that storms could cause problems for Dirigibles(three times) duh, they head right into the storm(these people were idiots). Suddenly, the blimp drops 1000 feet, the captain orders the ballast to be released(fancy term for water, 73 plus people on board, was it really water?) so the blimp heads UP... well, needless to say, control was lost and the Akron suffered its fate killing 73. In their infinite wisdom they sent out a rescue airship, the J-3(remember...storms + blimps=bad) Yes, it also crashed killing two of seven on board. Amazing thing about the Akron's commander, he survived and went on to pilot the Exxon Valdez(okay so that part isn't true but it wouldn't surprise me.) I guess the question that has to be asked... was the blimp jinxed or were the people commanding the blimp just that stupid.. going for the record for an accident a year and miscalculated when they crashed into the ocean.

have a Great Day! Ask, Believe, Receive!

We've got news!!!

NO! Nobody is pregnant! You may or may not know but about two weeks or so ago my  son, Ben, went down to a one day baseball camp at Central Michigan University and from what his grandpa told me he had one heck of a day. Well... I received an interesting call yesterday.. it went something like this: "Hello?" "Scott?" "Yes" "This is Coach Steve Jaksa, from CMU." " I'm calling you to let you know we are very interested in having your son come to CMU when he graduates from high school to play baseball for us. I saw him at camp a couple of weeks ago and we want to get a jump on any other schools that may be giving him a call." "Well coach, that's incredible but he is only going to be in eighth grade next year." "I know Scott, but I have an eye for talent and your son has the technique and the looks of a natural." "Thank you for noticing coach we will keep you in mind." " Jeff Opalewski, our recruiting coordinator will be in touch with you from time to time so you don't forget about us." "That's great, coach! I look forward to hearing from him." You have to understand I was stunned. You don't get that call every day.
I know what you are thinking.. sounds hard to believe. I was just floored after I hung the phone. Connie asked me who it was and when I told her she told me to quit lying to her. After I convinced her I wasn't we sat there looking at each other and didn't even know what to say. Well of course I called Ben and man his reaction was amazing!! I could here him screaming and trying to tell his mother. Everyone is just ecstatic! Imagine at his age and colleges are already calling!! This something I never thought would happen. Wow, what a future he is going to have. We really don't know how to act or what to do.

Have a Great Day! Ask, Believe, Receive!