On March 24, 1989 Captain Joseph Hazelwood was sitting in his pilot house of his ship sipping on a bottle of Captain Morgan (cause he had a little captain in him) singing songs of the deep seas and smoking a Marlboro or maybe it was a Newport.. no wait.. it was a Winston.. a Camel.. yes definitely a Camel. I digress. So, the good Captain is a sippin' and puttin' along with his crew... I'm the King of the World... oh did I mention they were watching the Titanic. When from up in the crows nest comes a tiny, wee voice.. ICEBERG!! What Nice Bird??? No Captain Joe, I said Iceberg!! So what's your point mate? Uhhmmm Captain, it's coming right for us!! Now didn't I tell you to help me to keep this thing between the lines.. the white one on the right and the yellow one on the left?? Aye, Aye Captain and you are right in line and this thing has crossed the yellow line and is in our lane. So the good Captain took a nice long drag on his Camel(it bellowed) and then he took a big swig of Captain Morgan (he said thanks) and proceeded to run smack dab into that iceberg. Captain Morgan, Uh, I mean Captain Joe jumped off the ship and yelled "Don't call the Cops, Don't call the Cops!! Here's my insurance info, please don't call the Cops!" The seals and the birds looked at him with puzzled looks and then the Eskimo or was it an Inuit? Anyway Nanook of the North proceeded to explain to him that he took his really big, overly large, huge ship and ran it right into the tiny, teensy, weensy little state of Alaska!! Whew!!! Just image if he would of hit Delaware!! Thank God it was only Alaska!
This my friends, is why Gas prices went up over night. Yes on this day in 1989 a drunk Captain ran his ship, "The Exxon Valdez" into the state of Alaska and caused an oil spill. So in honor of this great day in history the oil and gas companies have decided to raise gas prices to commend the Honorable Captain Joe! Hip, Hip, Hooray! And that's the way it was March 24,1989
Have a Great Day! Ask, Believe, Receive
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